Grandview Drive by Tim Blackett

Author:Tim Blackett
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Short Stories, Literary, City Life
ISBN: 9780889714656
Publisher: Nightwood Editions
Published: 2023-11-18T00:00:00+00:00

I don’t think I did think of her. Back then. I know I didn’t. Not until she asked me to her friend’s party. Her friend’s get-together. I don’t think I even realized she was the girl I was paired with. I never tried to fit one day with another. Or one thing with another. Back then. I just lived a boring life. I’d go with a friend to the bar. I’d have a couple drinks. I’d give a girl my number. If she called I’d take her for coffee. I’d take her around the park. I’d take her minigolfing. I’d make out with her. Maybe.

But now. That I met her and read what she thought about me. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. About her diary. How it made one thing fit with something else. How she saw things and thought of something else. How I was kind of like Greyson in it. But not like Greyson. How Autymn tried to figure out what other people were thinking. How she felt so many things at once. I only felt bored. All the time. But her diary made me feel… I don’t know what it made me feel. Different.

I started thinking about everything I did. Everything. Tried to figure out what Autymn would say. About the way I stood. At a bus stop. Or waiting in line. The way I ate my eggs. Brushed my teeth. Tossed before I fell asleep. The way I had to curl up to fall asleep. In a ball. Every night. I noticed how I chew my pen when I’m studying. I crack my knuckles. When I’m bored. In class. I talk to myself when I’m gaming out. I step on the cracks. On the sidewalk. On purpose. I chew my Slurpee straws. I feel lonely when the lights are off. When the street light shines in my bedroom.

I noticed things about other people too. About Autymn at least. How she turns the volume down for the music. Up when the host starts talking. She flips her hair to the side. Over and over. When she’s saying something important. Something she thinks is important. She slurps her coffee. Her ears turn red when she talks in class. When she kisses me. Her eyebrows curl up at the end when she’s mad. Frustrated. She clicks her pen. All the time.

These things were boring. Before. But now they were interesting. I felt like I could do anything. Like Autymn could do anything. Not the sky is the limit kind of anything. Just capable of anything. Like one thing could mean a million things. And I couldn’t tell you which. The things she said I did were true. Sure. But not true totally. I wasn’t mysterious. I was shy. I wasn’t strong. Gogol just pissed me off. I’m not like Greyson. At all. And I’m not noble.

I could hardly do anything without reading the diary first. It told me what to do. I read what she wanted. Then did it.

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